bReNz bLoG

Earlier today, I googled the word “trust.” It was a sobering experience. I was more than 20 pages into the results before meeting a single instance of trust in the sense of belief in something or someone. There were all types of financial trusts, businesses with “trust” in their names, companies eager to help you set up personal trusts, charitable trusts of every kind—but nothing about putting your trust in anything or anyone. When I did find an entry relating to trust in this common sense, it was about mistrust; a psychiatrist offering help for people whose trust had been abused through infidelity or fraud!

Trust is fundamental to life. If you cannot trust in anything, life becomes intolerable—a constant battle against paranoia and looming disaster. You can’t have relationships without trust, let alone good ones. Intimacy depends on it. I suspect more marriages are wrecked by lack of trust than by actual infidelity. The partner who can’t trust the other not to betray him or her will either drive them away or force them into some real or assumed act of faithlessness.

In the workplace too, trust is essential. An organization without trust will be full of backstabbing, fear and paranoid suspicion. If you work for a boss who doesn’t trust her people to do things right, you’ll have a miserable time of it. She’ll be checking up on you all the time, correcting “mistakes” and “oversights” and constantly reminding you to do this or that. Colleagues who don’t trust one another will need to spend more time watching their backs than doing any useful work. The office politics would make Machiavelli blush.

Organizations are always trying to cut costs. Think of all the additional tasks that are caused directly by lack of trust. Audit departments only exist because of it. Companies keep voluminous records because they don’t trust their suppliers, their contractors and their customers. Probably more than half of all administrative work is only there because of a pervasive sense that “you can’t trust anyone these days.” If even a small part of such valueless work could be removed, the savings would run into millions of dollars.

All this extra work—plus the work we load onto ourselves because we don’t trust people either. The checking, following through, doing things ourselves because we don’t believe others will do them properly— or at all. If you took all that way, how much extra time would you suddenly find in your day? How much of your work pressure would disappear?

I’m constantly amazed when people claim to be overworked and under constant pressure, yet fail to do the one thing most likely to ease their burdens: trust other people more. They don’t delegate, because they don’t trust people to do what they’ve been asked to do; so they have to take on every significant task themselves. They attend every meeting, however futile, because they don’t trust others not to talk about them behind their back, or reach decisions they don’t like. They demand copies of every memo, report and e-mail, because they don’t trust what might be said if they’re not watching. They’re constantly keyed-up and tense, watching for rivals or other departments to launch some covert operation to undermine their position. It’s not the pressure of actual work that’s driving them towards some stress-related illness, it’s their lack of trust in anyone and anything. Is it any wonder they’re close to total burnout?

Someone has to begin the cycle of trust by an act of faith. It’s no use waiting for the other person to make the first move. They’re waiting for you. It takes a conscious act of unconditional belief in that other person’s good sense, ability, honesty or sense of commitment to set the ball rolling. Will your trust sometimes be misplaced? Of course. Life isn’t perfect and some people aren’t trustworthy. But will increasing your willingness to trust produce, on balance, a positive benefit? Will it make your life more pleasant and less stressful? I believe so. You have little to lose by trying.

Trust has to start somewhere. Why not with you? Why not today? Why not right now?

Trust is the treasure of our daily lives. However, we do not understand its value. It is generally seen that trust in our daily lives is disappearing fast. Why have we become so suspicious that we can not enter into meaningful relationships with each other? Why can we not behave as normal human beings? After all when we were born as human beings the first lesson we learnt was that we should trust each other. However, as our lives progressed slowly, trust began to diminish. Our childhood innocence gave way to calculations in which there was no place for trust.
Trust in each other gives strength and vitality to our relationships. It gives us inner happiness, which is priceless. It brings joy all around and life appears brighter and brighter .Its fragrance spreads far and wide. Trust keeps us in a positive mental framework. When you trust each other you feel self-confident. The feeling of believing others is electrifying .It not only provides sense of security but provides us new zeal to fight the vagaries of life. Trusting each other gives us a sense of deep bonding. It signifies that we are united to fight the battles ahead. Trust is a synonym for warmth in our relationships.
With so many advantages of trusting each other how do we feel when germs of mistrust appear? Life appears to be devoid of colour and lacks spontaneity. We behave with each other mechanically like robots .We constantly live with fear and tensions. We live in our shells and we are unable to share with each other. We live in a suppressed condition, which inhibits the growth of our personality. As a result we are not able to contribute towards the betterment of the society .We are not able to create a conducive atmosphere where there is transparency all around. A society whose foundation is built around trust is progressive and dynamic. Lack of trust signifies decay in the society
Building up trust is not easy .A lot of conscious efforts has to be made in this direction .We need to nurture our relationships with care. We should not let our ego destroy our relationships. This requires making constant efforts to know each other fully. The more we explore each other the more we can handle each other’s contradictions well. After all most of the problems in relationships occur because we do not want to open up .As a result we tend to look at others with doubt. We live in our own world of likes and dislikes, as we are not able to create a right balance. No doubt people tend to view us with suspicion .If we are balanced and mature in our thoughts and action people will trust us .For this we must shed the habit of finding fault with others, even on a slight pretext. Instead we should identify and make others aware of their positive traits and strengths. This will enhance our credibility, which will lead to building trust. We must not indulge in unhealthy competition by trying to outwit each other. Instead we should master the art of rejoicing in the happiness of others . Good performance of others should spur us to act in a positive manner .Being jealous and competitive will be of no use as it will lead to destroying trust.
No one is perfect in today’s era .If there would have been perfection all around then no trace of mistrust would have been present. We must build trust against the backdrop of limitations in our personalities. Mistrust is itself a reflection of our inadequacies and imperfections in handling our relationships with finesse. After all reform begins at home .Let us reform ourselves by giving time to our relationships and thinking of ways to strengthen them. Trust will then follow naturally.